Whoa Nellie. Hold Up.
I’m gonna make this one short & sweet because I think you have heard me drone on enough about my excitement over getting back to Reality over the past week. But I just gotta mention it one more time because…THIRTY-SIX HOURS FROM NOW MY KIDS WILL BE IN SCHOOL!!!
I hate to sound heartless. I do. But I really don’t think I’ll miss them. Take this morning, my oldest was still sleeping and my other three and I were having a little Arts & Crafts Action with some sharp colored pencils & crisp drawing paper, sipping smoothies and nibbling on cinnamon toast. It was totally chill & relaxing. Playing the uber-annoying, but somehow addictively enjoyable game of, Would You Rather (Would You Rather eat a bowl of snot or lick poop off your shoe?? Seriously, my five year old is going to be LIVING in the Principle’s office with not a single Kindergarten Mom calling for playdates). Even then, my mind kept returning to the fact that a mere two days from now I would be sitting in a quiet, tidy KID-FREE ZONE. KID. FREE. Motha f*ckaaaa. Sorry, I need to keep the language G-rated until then.
I’m just SILLY with excitement. Orders flooding in for Flank Steak Caesars & Chicken Fingers, “Can I get the Guacamole on the side with my Baja??”…sure thing lady, you can have the moon if you wish, my kids are in school for 6 hours today.
We’ve got people calling, booking their Progressive Dinners for their clubs in October, their 50th Birthday parties for their spouses next weekend because they have been moving their kids in to college and it just makes. My. Heart. Sing. to have my head filled with menus of Coconut Shrimp & Tamarind Ginger Sauce, Candy Bacon & the tastiest of tasty Maine Lobster Salad on some crunchy Endive. Yum. It. Up.
So I’m just gonna say it once and then I won’t repeat it because I know you don’t want to get left shopping and cooking on Thursday. ORDER NOW. Just do it. Don’t wait. Zip off the damn email snagging yourself a Paleo Greek Salad, some Roasted Chipotle Shrimp with Black Bean & Roasted Corn Salad and a Chinese Chopped. Reserve your three orders of freshly crisped Panko Crusted Chicken Fingers so your kids aren’t looking at you with disdain when you pull out those freezer burned Trader Joe’s numbers. Because there ain’t NOTHING like my freshly cut, breaded and flash fried Chicken Fingers and not many salads in town that can compare to our Shredded Kale & Quinoa with Crunchy Grapes & Grated Parm.
So pull the trigger. We got you covered.