I may just LEVITATE. Seriously, I may...

C'mon, tell me. I want to know. 
Who, after ten LONG weeks of packing beach bags and folding towels, after slathering sunscreen on cranky, squirming children & eating dozens of snack bar cheeseburgers that taste like hockey pucks (or crap-ass wilted salads with thick, pasty dressing) is
Who (pray tell) is as excited as I am to have their children so FAR out of their grills for 7 straight hours that they can almost taste it (if you are one of those women who post in FB how
super sad you are to see summer come to an end because you will miss your kids so much Thursday morning, please, unsubscribe from this blog. Seriously. I'm not sure we can be friends...)??
Now, next question: Please raise your hand, (or better yet, Click on the reply button and order right now)
WHO IS READY FOR A NIGHT OFF! from the stove? From a morning off at the supermarket? From an evening free of complaints from your husband that you've made this meal like, 26 times this summer and it was never very good to begin with?
I know I am. I am so STINKIN' ready for this THURSDAY I can taste it. Taste the crunch of Napa Cabbage & Salty Dry Roasted Peanuts (all foods should have caps btw) under a sheen of that spicy Red Chili Peanut Dressing. My mouth waters when I think about that lime-y, puckery twang of our Citrus Lime Vinaigrette on the Baja Chicken Salad with the pop of Roasted Corn under a dollop of Guacamole. And the idea of taking a bite of our Panko-Crusted Chicken Fingers that have taken a little dip in our Buffalo Honey BBQ Sauce makes my heart do a little backflip. A double in pike position. That's how good.
Add that to watching my kids,
ALL FOUR OF THEM (wahoooooo!! Georgia is OFF to Kindergarten!!) pass through those hallowed doors at Ho-Ho-Kus school by 8:45am - I may just levitate. Seriously, I may.
At 8:46am, along with what I'm sure with be tinge of sadness that my last is off to Big Kid School never again to accompany me on errands, hair cuts or supermarket runs (whining, begging for candy and dragging her heels & asking to be carried all the way), there will be 6 hours and 14 minutes of time to do WHATEVER THE F*CK I WANT...aghhhhhhhhhhhhh! 
What to do first!?!
What to do?? Well I will be whipping up your dinner and hopefully, if you are smart enough, letting me DELIVER IT STRAIGHT to your doorstep that's what. 
What's that?? We deliver, you say? Yes I do. Not only do you not have to shop for the food? Not only do you not have to  
cook the food? But you don't even have to drag those tired legs of yours down to our kitchen on Warren Avenue (and any little, tiny babes that some of you are still chasing around all morning, sorry for my earlier gloating, it just couldn't be avoided). Cuz we'll deliver this sh*t right to you.
Click on the Order (THIS SH*T RIGHT NOW) Button and pick and choose which MIND BENDING salads you want to buy for the next few days (because if you're like me, your jeans are no longer your friends and won't be any time soon unless you add a little green into your diet). Or simply Click, REPLY to this blog and tell me what you need delivered to your door or waiting for you at my kitchen on Thursday at 12pm sharp. Or just zip off a friendly text (917.721.9217) listing the delectable items you need to make you, your kids and that husband of yours more happy & satisfied than y'all have been in weeks.
Because Peeps, between the kids going back to school and NOT having to cook (for as many days as you buy for for), it's like Christmas in September. And I am the big, fat man wearing a shiny black boots & making everyone smile. 
Seriously, that's not very far from the truth. (besides being a woman & wearing Asics Gels, that'll be me on Thursday)...WAHOO! MOM'S NIGHT OFF! is BACK.