wow. what a week

wow. what a week.

i write this blog almost every sunday night at the same hour. it's generally around 10:15-10:30 at night and my brain gets quiet and the pace slows. my kids are tucked in bed, the house is silent, and i get a moment to reflect on the week that's passed me by. was it positive or negative? did i do all i could to show up for my kids? did i service my customers and make their event the best one possible? and after all that, did take care of myself in some small, meaningful way that filled up my bucket?

it's rare that i can answer each of those questions with a yes. some weeks it just isn't in the cards. my kids? they always get top billing. i grew up in a generation where we were we raised somewhat like feral cats. we went out to play unaccompanied until the light in the sky dimmed and we heard my dad's whistle. we did our homework on our own without much parental guidance as my mom was flying around to carpool five kids to sports, food shop, cook dinner, do the laundry and whip up lunches - i wished for more but there was only so much one woman could manage and i think that determined my parental style to always make sure my kids got a little more than perhaps they actually require. i can make a 24 hour day feel like 36 by just moving a little quicker and getting sh*t done and it's important to me that my kids know when they need me, i'm there even when there may be three different places at once (moms can clone themselves if you didn't know).

work is always the easy show. sailing into my shop each day, i know that while i may be asked a dozen questions and there may be a few fires to extinguish, i have a staff on hand that is so competent, so first world FABULOUS, that no matter the quandary, my intel isn't so much needed as they are just keeping me in the loop. we were approached to cater a wedding yesterday with just six weeks to plan it and we crushed (sorry, sounds overly confident but i'm just reporting the facts: when three dozen people tell you the same thing, it becomes your gospel, word). every detail was recorded, every request was met and the celebration, though a tiring 15 hour day, was the reason i got into catering in the first place. pure happiness.catchy. is teamwork, execution, camaraderie. we are about putting people at ease and reassuring them that there is nothing too much for us to handle. it's what i was born to do and i pinch myself each time i find myself flying high after a seamless event.

that third cog is a tough one. fitting in self care for anyone is tough let alone a working parent with a handful of kids who is short on time and long on demands. but even on a weekend cluttered with weddings, lacrosse tournaments and dogs eating headphones (clean up is a bitch: damn plastic) i'm beginning to see the benefits of staying in my pajamas some mornings, ordering takeout for dinner rather than cooking and even just listening a little deeper to the sermon at church and enjoying the message i'm graced with. it doesn't have to be some grand gesture, just buying myself a bunch of gerber daisies at the metropolitan plant center feels like i am putting myself on the calendar. i glance at them and realize "i matter." i didn't get that message every day for the last 45 years but i'm getting it now. no one is going to send that message to me but ME.

so ladies and gentleman, PUT YOURSELF ON THE CALENDAR. it's the hurricane season. it's busy, life is stressful and we all have a plate so full it spills over onto our unswept floor (because who has time to sweep every day damn it!). if you can order your mashed potatoes and brussels sprouts and pumpkin bread from catchy. for the holidays do it. no one is judging but YOU. we know you can bake. we know you are a loving mom. don't put yourself in the hospital bc you had to make the appetizers for your mother in law's party when you could spend that time reading to your kids or even better, getting a 10 minute massage at the nail salon. order your dinner online at a few nights this season and leave the supermarket behind. spend that time in the flower shop picking out some blooms for you bedside table and let those buds remind you that YOU MATTER. because if you don't, who the hell will?