omg. my brain doesn't work anymore.

it's like this every year. december 18th rolls around, and i literally can't string together a coherent sentence. too. much. tooooo much. 

i'm not sure how veteran caterers do this. i mean like, this is only year two of catchy. on the holiday scene. we've only been up and rockin' this catering/cafe gig for thirteen months and i already see myself in a forced retirement on a beach in jamaica in a few years by orders of the manor over here or collecting dust in a corner somewhere at a looney bin up in braindead, new york because i just couldn't handle the details. my head is about to implode people and it's only DECEMBER 18th....

i think it was the sickness that got me. i had it alllll covered. thought i had all the answers. four major party weekends, 78 events. presents for my kids on a spreadsheet (created by my first born, like it, like it. self-starter) and hosting christmas day (jackpot - so much easier than christmas eve). until BOOM. out went the legs, flat on my back. DOWN GOES FRAZER. ouch. 

i figured nothing could do a soul better than a pomegranate margarita with my girlfriend on monday night to get me through the holidays doldrums. i needed a night off from life to bitch, laugh and fill up my dangerously empty bucket. what i got was a hot seat right into a respiratory infection. ugh. and straight out the window went my perfectly crafted plan to pick off every single one of my kids christmas lists while simultaneously feeding the greater bergen county area. suck it. 

well, welcome to humilityland sister. where who i think i am and who i wish i could be collided like a newly licensed teenager on her maiden voyage. bottomline line? can't do it all. not even close. and trying to has just made me sick, cranky and seriously not a lot of fun to be within fifty yards of if you have the last name cacciabaudo. so here's to being a slow learner, owning my part and trying to make a little change . 

i got six more days until christmas and i plan to make the best of it. can't undo the 29 parties we have coming down the shoot before next sunday but i can try and pencil in a little F-U-N in the form of laugher, relaxation and lightness. i  just started by putting my computer on sleep mode and tucking in my 12-year who asked me to (to which i replied: "you're 12." and then felt like a *sshole. because that's exactly what i am). after all, it's christmas for pete's sake, what is the point of all of this if i'm gonna at like a miserable human being?? #startingnow #ownitchangeit #lightenuplucy #hitoverthehead

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